there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
