you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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