Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize