Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
