i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
