I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
