On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
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