some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
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