I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
he just fucked me for my cheese..
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