You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize