Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
She even gives head with a lisp.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
