And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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