How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
