hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
