the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I look excited, but its just a facade.
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