Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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