yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
