On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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