The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
