so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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