Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
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