you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
