Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
