There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
