The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
