How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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