the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
