wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
