somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Randomize