Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Randomize
