i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
cat food counts as protein by the way
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
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