we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Randomize
