I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Randomize
