I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
