I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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