Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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