Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
