Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize