I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
this will be a night to untag.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Randomize
