Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
babies were throwing up all over the place
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
