I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize