Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
In other news, I just burned my penis
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
