I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize