I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
