I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Randomize
