I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
