so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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