I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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