Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
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