we have pet lesbian snakes
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
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