Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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