I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
