What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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