Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
