i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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