bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
