You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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